Wednesday, October 11, 2006

It's been awhile

Well, I am finally begining to recover from the Hell that was my month on Orthopedic surgery and I'm pretty sure I didn't learn a damned thing. Oh well, at least it's over. Intern year on the whole has not been that bad. It's certainly a lot of work, there's no getting around that. I'm back in the ED again so I'm pretty happy about that.
It's so weird when your on a tough rotation how much you lose touch with the outside world. It gets to the point where your never quite sure what day of the week it is because the standard reminders like TV shows and weekend are lost to you. The only thing that holds any reference is whether your on call, post call, or pre-call. That's pretty much the only thing that has any effect on you. Then when the rotation is over it's almost like the sun comming out after a long winter and you remember what it's like to go outside again. I have a fairly rough stretch comming up over the holidays. Three straight months of call to screw up my Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. Oh well, I just have to remember that once this year is over I'm done with call.

Today is my daughter's first birthday. Technically I have the day off but I get off today at 8:30 in the morning so it's going to be a struggle to stay awake all day. It's hard not to be selfish about these things. She won't remember that I missed any of these events, she has no idea what it means to have a birthday or Christmas. But I know-and I know that I'm missing them. I missed my daughter's first steps and I cried when my husband told me on the phone at work. I know its better for her that she won't remember any of this but I wish that it was easier on me. I guess I'm just selfish.


DocBellaise said...

You're baaack! Ok so yea, it does suck. But it is great that she won't remember any of this. But when she does get around to going to school, having ballet/violin/basketball/magic show (?) practice, you will be able to be 'more' there. My uncle is a Dr. and he was neeeeever home (I spent a lot of time with my cousins) during/right after his residency. But now, he's at just about every soccer game, he picks up the kids from school sometimes. And the kids joke around at how he used to come home in the midst of a birthday/random party and be confused and tired, but they know that being a doctor is not easy. And it is very awe-inspiring to have a parent who's job is to make people better.
Have a good day!

gujudoc said...

Wow that's real disheartening hearing about how you missed your daughter's first steps. I know its not the same as having been there in person, but have you ever thought of having a webcam so you can see your daughter's special moments when you don't get to be there in person? I know a doctor who did to see her grandchild when her daughter and son in law were living up north. My heart goes out to you. What specialty are you doing? I take it you are in residency??