Friday, April 14, 2006

Show me the money

I'm broke. You wouldn't think you'd hear that from a doctor to be, but we are the poorest humans on the face of the planet. I already owe close to 250,000 and currently have -1000 in the bank right now. So I'm searching for yet another loan. I'm not a total jackass with money, inspite of my debt load. I never owed any money before medical school, didn't even own a credit card. But financial aid in medical school is a complete joke. It doesn't matter how old you are, whether or not your married or even if you have kids, your still considered dependant on mommy and daddy for fin aid purposes. Are you kidding me. I moved out of my parents house almost ten years ago and I have to ask them for their tax information and assets. I feel like I'm trying to see what's in their will and there not even dead yet. So that's how I ended up in so much debt. But with all that money I must be living it up right? People buy houses for less so why am I still broke. Well most of that money went for tuition and the rest for rent and food. Were not exactly supposed to work in medical school. Can you imagine my job interview."Yea, I'm just staying in medical school untill I get promoted at In and Out Burger"

It doesn't help that we get all our money in a lump sum and are expected to portion it out just right. When you got ten thousand in the bank what's a couple hundred on groceries. But when your down to your last fifty bucks your just trying to figure out how much Top Ramon you can eat without hurling. So where else did all the money go? Oh yea, that's right, I had a kid this year. No, there not expensive at all. You would think fin aid would let me take out some more money but noooo, adding another human being to your family is not grounds for needing more cash. "Student loans are for students not students families"-thanks alot to my financial aid counselor. Way to be helpful.

But wait I have a job in June. I'll be a doctor that's when they money starts flowing. My salary for my first year is $37,000. That will support me, my husband and my kid-right? That's it boy and girls that's what I spent 10 years in college for. Oh and did I mention that I won't get my first paycheck until August 30. Fuck, won't somebody give me another loan.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Is there a Doctor in the house?

So congratulations to me. I'm going to be a doctor, and I'm so excited about it I could just die. Or at least kill my younger self who decided this would be a good idea. Like at least 50% of my classmates I don't want to be a doctor anymore. But were all fucked because we owe so much money that there's no backing out now. It's less painful to pay back the mob then pay back medical school debt. At least the mob is willing to kill you and put you out of your misery. I graduate from medical school in two months and I'm already burned out. Oh yea, this is going to be a great year for me.
I'm starting internship soon. Also known as the worst year of my life. I get to have all the compassion and empathy squeezed out of me while enduring 30 hour shifts every three days, not sleeping for months on end and never seeing my family. Internship is supposed to mold you into this great all knowing doctor, or completly break your spirit - whatever comes first. So I thought I would let the civilians into the mind of what doctors are really thinking this first year. This won't hurt a bit.