The good news. I am 8 months pregnant with my current boyfriend's baby. This pregnancy has been rough, and I think of my other son every day. Knowing what I know now, aborting him was the best decision I ever made. We'll talk about those "things that I know now" one day. My boyfriend makes me happy. I sleep at night now.
I am an attending physician at a local ER. Believe it or not I miss my old ER, some days. Working County, it never mattered whether my patient's had insurance. It matters now.
The bad news. After I got a restraining order, I ended up in the hellhole known as family court. The things that my husband did to me doesn't matter to them. He has no car, no cell phone, no job, and failed his most recent alcohol test. Because I am the only stable parent our daughter has, I pay for everything. Because he can not care for himself, I have to pay him spousal support. Every kick, punch and strangulation had a price. Except I never imagined it would be me paying him. We'll talk about that too, one day.
And I worry so much for her. Her safety, when she has to sleep in his bed with him at night. Him drinking around her. His propensity for violence. She got her two front teeth knocked out in his care. But I can't Prove how it happened so it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is DNA and money in family court. Maybe we will talk about that too... one day.
I wonder how she will feel when she reads this. Will she be proud of me? Will she wish I had made different choices? I know it was just a couple of days ago that I was an intern. Just the other day, I was an abused wife. My, my, my, how time will fly. In another few days she will be a teenager, then an adult. And then we will both finally be free.
